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You know when you're just in the mood for writing limericks? No, didn't think so. Well I do - not proper poetry, just limericks, and every now and then comes one that's actually quite funny. Here I'll be putting some of the less rubbish ones I write...

If you'd like to suggest a subject for the next one, be my guest [email link removed] and I'll see what I can do! Even better, submit your own limericks to add to mine, and I'll put them here.


Freya is my gorgeous sis,
And what I want to say is this:
I love her whatever,
And will do forever.
(Lots of love from big bro Chris x)

09.02.05

A man walked into a bar,
(Since on foot from his house it's not far),
He didn't say ouch,
But sat on a couch,
And eyed-up some bird with no bra.

23.11.03

A mathematician named Pete,
When thinking would gaze at his feet,
He found that in glaring,
The answer'd be staring,
Him right in the face, which was sweet.

23.11.03

Sitting today on the train,
I started to write things again,
I find it relaxing,
Though often quite taxing,
When finding a rhyme is a strain.

23.11.03

with Jonny we're onto a winner,
When he's on the bench England's thinner,
But after that kick,
He'll be honoured real quick,
And he'll go to the Queen's house for dinner.

23.11.03

I've always liked going abroad,
With flying I never am bored.
Few problems arise,
When roaming the skies,
And enjoyment, for me, is assured.

23.11.03

I once saw a poet you see,
And stalked him for hours before tea,
Then later that night,
I woke with a fright,
All along I'd been following me!

The time has come to take a break,
And once again a poem make,
I find it fun,
What can be done,
With words arranged for laughter's sake.

My Physics teacher at school,
Was certainly never a fool.
He said "The name's Taylor,
I'm not gonna fail yer,
Listen up, Physics is cool".

"One day I'll get rich from my rhymes",
I've told my Mum thousands of times,
She still thinks I'm mad,
She's spoken to Dad,
And he's told me I'll pay for my crimes.

I came home today on the train,
It's great to see Mummy again.
But the journey's so long,
The time-wasting's wrong,
I think I'll invest in a plane.

There once was a girl I knew - Sues,
Who found it quite easy to choose,
Between this or that,
A scarf or a hat,
In shops that she liked to peruse.

Chrissy's been bad with revision,
He's not even past the division,
There's loads more to go,
Most people I know,
Are laughing with howls of derision.

I've got an exam in the morning,
I'll turn up still tired and yawning,
Cos I won't get no sleep,
In order to keep,
Revising until day is dawning.

Some people called Tamsin and Gray,
Stole flutes and started to play,
They played them so good,
I told them they should,
Start busking in Town right away.

Some people (not Tamsin or Gray),
Were often seen coming my way,
They hurt me so badly,
I looked at them sadly,
And cried for more than a day.

There once was a Graham I knew,
To whom I said "How do you do?",
He said "Not too bad,
Except that I had,
Three ferrets and now I've lost two".

Disappointed was I that we parted,
But now our friendship has restarted,
This makes me happy,
Cos life would be crappy,
Without you Tamsin I'd be thwarted.


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